Senile Shinto Priest
by Little Masa-ouki
Summary: Katsuhito flips


Disclaimer: Alright! I admit it. The characters aren't mine. Please, spare me your demonic lawyers. I have no money for them to take. Aieeee! ::Runs away::  
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The Senile Shinto Priest  
  
"Geez, I'm sick of this." Tenchi groaned as he continued to  
sweep the grounds. "Why does grandfather always make me do so much  
work?"  
"What was that?" A voice said from behind him.  
"Ah! Grandfather!"  
"Slacking off again?"  
"No, no. It's just that, well, sweeping the whole shrine is  
a lot of work."  
"A lot of work! Bah! You're spoiled boy! In my day, we had   
to clean the entire shogun's palace. And we didn't get a fancy broom."  
"You call this broom fancy? It's just a bunch of straw tied  
to the end of a stick."  
"We had to do it all with our toothbrushes."  
"What? That's rediculous."  
"Wimp. You would think that. You're always taking the easy way out."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"How about your fight with Kagato?"  
"What about it? I fought him fair and square."  
"Fair and square my Shinto ass!"  
"Um, are you feeling alright."  
"In my day, we didn't need any Light Hawk Wings to defeat our  
enemies. We just used our Juraian powers, and we kicked their buts in  
half the time."  
"But Kagato's chapel redirected all energies."  
"Then we died and liked it."  
"I did die. When I was flying out on the Ryo-ouki."  
"Bah!" Katsuhito snorted.  
"What now?" Tenchi groaned.  
"Oh, look at me. I need the RYo-ouki to get to Kagato, who's  
not even out of the solar system."  
"You're not suggesting that you WALKED through the galaxy."  
"You bet your energy blade we did. In my day we had to walk  
over two galaxies to get to our battles, through asteroid belts,   
against black hole gravity. BOTH WAYS."  
"This is bullshit. I'm out of here. I'm gonna have Washu take  
a long look at you." Tenchi threw down the broom and stormed down the  
steps.  
Ayeka and Ryoko met Tenchi as he came down the stairs.  
"Where are you two going."  
"Lord Katsuhito asked us to see him."  
"Alright, but be careful. He's acting a little-no, very weird."  
The two continued up the stairs until they saw Katsuhito  
standing at the gate to the shrine. Something was definitely amiss.  
"Um, Lord Katsuhito?" Ryoko asked. "Why aren't you wearing any   
pants."  
"What? Who said that?"  
"Um, I did." Katsuhito turned to look at Ryoko.  
"Ah! Foul demon! Prepare yourself." Katsuhito drew an object  
from his robes and dropped into a ready stance. "You cannot stand  
against the might of Tenchiken."  
"Um, that's a flashlight. ANd I served my time."  
"YOu did?"  
"Yes."  
"You sure?"  
"pretty sure."  
"Positive."  
"Yup."  
"Alright then. What are you doing here?"  
"I live here."  
"SHouldn't you be with Kagato?"  
"What! I helped kill that bastard."  
"What? Well, I never!"  
"Huh?"  
"In my day, we served our masters without question. ANd here  
you've aided in his downfall?"  
"He was an evil man who tortured me. He treated me as less  
than human and delighted in my suffering."  
"Ha! That's nothing. WHen I was your age..."  
"I'm 5,000 years old. That's more years than you've seen."  
"...my master beat me routinely, and tortured my mind. He made  
fun of my name, and got all the other kids to laugh at me. And I was  
proud to serve him."  
"Brother, are you feeling alright?" Ayeka asked concernedly.  
"What? Who are you?"  
"I'm Ayeka."  
"Ayeka?"  
"Your sister?"  
"I have a sister?"  
"I'm the first princess of Jurai!"  
"OH, now I remember you. Big disappointment."  
"What?"  
"You've completely dishonored our family."  
"What on earth are you talking about."  
"Was it on Earth? I thought it was on Mars."  
"What was on Mars?"  
"You turning down Seryo."  
"That was on Earth, but what does that have to do with anything?"  
"In my day, we married who are father told us to and liked it."  
"But father told you to marry me?"  
"He did not."  
"He did so."  
"I think I'd remember something like that."  
"That's why you ran away to Earth."  
"I've never been to Earth."  
"You're on Earth right now!"  
"What? This is Jurai."  
"It is not."  
"There he is!" Tenchi called as he and Washu crested the   
stairs.  
"Aha!" Washu cried. "Figured it out."  
"What?"  
"He's gone completely senile."  
"So what do we do?"  
"Well, first...GET HIM!"  
"Ha!" Katsuhito snorted as he blocked Tenchi's attack with his  
flashlight. "In my day, we took out our opponents on the first   
strike." With a loud crack, AYeka broke the broom over Katsuhito's   
head. "That's more like it."  
"So what do we do with him now?" Ayeka asked.  
  
"So long Grandfather." Tenchi waved, as the men placed him in  
the truck.  
"What, you can't do this to me. I am a respected elder of this  
community."  
"Well, now you'll be a respected elder of the Old Folkes Home."  
"But Tenchi. This is Japan. We honor our elders. WE don't  
have any old folks home."  
"Don't worry we've got it covered." The man said. "NExt stop,  
U.S.A."  
  
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Author's note: My second spamfic. Tell me what you think.  
Lighthawkwings@masakishrine.com  
  



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